Saint Amelia's Day 2017

You have crowned the year with your kindness. Your footsteps will drip with fruitfulness

I am living in the days of true redemption. I am seeing God's goodness in the land of the living.

Not too long ago, many of you will remember, I was in great heartache.

A broken engagement, a bit of gaslighting and a lot of tears and suffering. I had just become Catholic, was on my way to marriage, and two months into it all, it came crashing down. What I thought was going to be the best year of my life quickly became what seemed the darkest time, in a matter of about an hour. I was devastated.

We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; (2 Cor.4:8-9)

Yet God was hard at work.  We can't see it through our tears, but He is always at work.  We must believe it.  We must keep going.

Through weeks of crying myself to sleep every night, I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower.  I went to work.  I went to mass instead of eating lunch.  At one point I was lying in the empty church against the communion rail, pouring my heart out to Jesus in the tabernacle.  I couldn't go home.  I wanted to be near Him.  

I forced myself to be with people, to reach out to people.  I never knew so many people loved me...people at my church, at my job, at the gym...they all took me in and loved me, letting me come over, sleep in their guest rooms. Giving me tea and hankies.  They just loved me.  It was exactly what I needed.  In my weakest moment, I discovered the love of God through other people.  In my brokenness I beheld the goodness of the Lord.

St. Amelia (Amalberga) of Temse

My patron/confirmation saint is St. Amelia of Temse.  She's so hipster, that you probably haven't heard of her.  She lived in the 700s in Flanders, and was on her way to becoming a nun.  She was totally sold out to God.  But there was a man hell-bent on destroying her plans.  Enter: Charlemagne.  He was quite taken with her beauty, and made every effort to tempt her away from Christ.  It even came to the point where she was lying on the floor, prostrate in front of the tabernacle, and Charlemagne tried to drag her off.  He pulled her arm so hard that he broke it.  

I can't imagine the devastation of that moment for Amelia.  A powerful, rich, handsome man trying with all his might to literally take her from Jesus.  Shattering pain that probably had her feeling helpless, not knowing what he'd do next.  But Jesus stepped in.  What happened next is lost to history, but we do know that Charlemagne changed his mind.  He repented, and left her alone.  She was healed, and God restored what her heart desired.  No one could take her from Jesus. 

Why now?  Why do I speak of this now?
Well, I had no idea what was in store for me when I chose Amelia as my very own saint.  Her name (my name!) and her story captured my attention.  I was molested at church, much like Amelia.  I feel that man and others have tried to take me from Jesus.  But I had no idea the drama that was going to unfold just after I became Catholic.  Like Amelia, my dreams were shattered.  My body racked with pain.  My heart broken. It was hard to see through tears.  But I, like Amelia, clung to Jesus.  And ever shall.  

Yesterday was the feast of Amelia.  My first saint day as a Catholic.  And yesterday, God revealed in my heart the incredible work He's doing.  There is so much grace and healing He's poured out on me!  Not only healing for this year, this hurt...but past ones as well!  I am absolutely astounded at all He's doing.  And all through hurt.  No tears are ever wasted!

About 6 weeks after my ex-fiance left me, I met Hunter.  It is a grace I do not deserve, and could not have imagined.  But this young man kneels next to me, says our Catholic prayers with me, receives Jesus with me, and stands as witness to the grace and goodness of God.  Do not ever doubt the power of restoration!  As we celebrated St. Amelia's Day yesterday, sweating in matching colors on our picnic in the Texas July sun, I marveled at all God has done.  Thanks be to God for his goodness.